There Is No Shame In Divorce

Dear Someone,

This letter is for you. You that’s asking what’s the opposite of happiness since that’s all you can feel right now. You that has refused to walk away from a relationship that’s certain to kill you. You that was threatened with a knife and left with bruises the other day. You whose ONLY crime was getting married to a devil in a wife or a husband. You that’s afraid to walk away from a relationship that weighs you down instead of lifting you up. You that’s in a relationship that’s making you feel bad about being you.

Don’t get me wrong…
No matter what your situation is, if you feel like you need to leave your marriage, then do it if you have done everything in your power to fix things. It’s better to walk away from your marriage than to allow your partner kill you. Don’t get me wrong, when it rains, it’s good to look for rainbows. When it’s dark, it’s good to look for stars. Your daily mantra should always be to see the good in every moment. But when your life, and your very existence is under threat from your spouse’s or partners physical abuse, look for help – run for your life. Respect yourself enough to walk away from a relationship that’s harming you even though no one wants to walk away from a relationship that has so much invested in it, but no one wants keep fighting for what’s not there.

Pay attention…
You were not instructed by God to live with anyone in silent hell or in an abusive marriage. No! Colossians 3:13-15 (CEV) says, “13 Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you. 14 Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together. 15 Each one of you is part of the body of Christ, and you were chosen to LIVE TOGETHER IN PEACE. So let the peace that comes from Christ control your thoughts. And be grateful”.

Let go if you have to…
Walk away if all you can find is trouble, misery, abuse and not peace. Walk away if all you see is more harm than good. Walk away if you feel it’s time. If you don’t step forward you will always remain in the same place and mess. If your life is at risk, don’t try to stay together for your kids, your friends, your family, your church or the society. You don’t owe your partner your life. It doesn’t matter if infidelity, abuse, or lying is not a factor in your marriage, it is called common sense. Walk away than pay with your life. There is no shame in divorce, ever. If you feel like you would be a better version of yourself without your partner, then go. And as hard as it may seem, and as intimidated as you are, it is crucial for you to walk away from a relationship or marriage that does no longer serves you and glorifies God. Leave for the sake of your life!

Be courageous…
You that found this letter of hope, you don’t need “permission” from anyone if you need to leave your marriage, you should. It’s no joke! You are no longer a victim if you refused to walk away after the first beating or physical abuse. You don’t need permission from anyone to be happy, to play, to enjoy life, to be at peace, to laugh, to be kind, to smile. People will call you a quitter, your church or pastor might even give up on you but do what’s best for you for as long as you are at peace with God. You DON’T have to stay in that mess because of time or person, run for your life. Sometimes you can’t wait for God to come to you, your spirit has to move you towards God. And if He has opened a door, don’t refuse to walk through it. Don’t be ashamed to break free from the life you thought you wanted if it doesn’t serve you anymore.

Don’t ever forget this…
Stop pushing aside the pain you have being carrying around. Stop trying to suppress the pressure that has built up. Walk away from your marriage any day your life is threatened. Walk away from him or her with your hands in the air. Look into his or her eyes and run like the wind. Your marriage is not for better or worse when your life is at stake. You are better and more useful a divorcee than a dead man. And if you’re not strong enough to walk away from a relationship that isn’t healthy for you, you shouldn’t be in one in the first place.

Until tomorrow…
Always remember that your life is precious. Don’t sit back and let things happen to you. Go out and make things happen. If any person in your life doesn’t really care about you, hurts you, especially if you have shown them love, then walk away and walk away fast.

In Him,
~Ali Papa.

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