Singles: Be Proud Of Who You Are

Dear Someone,

Honestly, I don’t know if you are single and desiring to be married, but on the off chance that you are, this letter is for you. As usual, it’s a long one but I need you to stop worrying after reading it. I’m also writing this for someone that’s feeling so helpless that they don’t know the next step to take. Someone who is worried that so many people are getting engaged at this time while he or she is still single and with no sign of anyone ever coming around to say hello. Someone who is going around feeling old because everyone around them is getting married and having kids.

You that is worried right now that it’s almost 2019 and despite entering 2018 as a single, you are still single, this letter is for you. You that was asked one of the most annoying questions, “why you’re still single?”, at Christmas by your family members, this letter is for you. You that is wondering if your family has given up on you since not a single person asked you if you are still single this year, this letter is for you. You that’s still being pushed around by your problems, this letter is for you. You that is feeling sad over those that gave up on you and you that’s allowing others dim your light simply because it’s shining in their eyes, this letter is for you.

You might have been single for the past few years but always remember that it’s not always true that you are single just because your crush doesn’t know that you exist; you are not single because God has given up on you; you are not single because you are broke; you are not single because nobody can afford you; you are not single because you are not beautiful and well settled; you are not single because you are too shy; you are not single because it is your only option; you are not single because you are too good for them; you are not single because they say you have an ugly face; you are not single because that’s what’s happening in your lineage. No! You are probably single, may be because you are completely content, with no desire to be married. Besides, you only got yourself and you are supposed to have high expectations for love instead of starting one just because it is available.

If today you are still single, don’t ever allow anyone to make you feel like there is something wrong with you and don’t ever settle for anything and everything that knows your name. Wait for your soulmate, someone who is worth the wait, someone who will never take you for granted, someone you can call your true love and someone after God’s heart. Don’t be among those people who jumped in too quickly and then everything falls apart. It doesn’t matter who is telling you how they hate to see you alone. Remind them that real love knows no age, knows no boundary and knows no time limit. Remind them that God doesn’t give you the people you want, He gives you the people you need. And at all times He is always saving you for someone special if you allow Him.

However, in your quest not to be single, don’t ever try to be someone else that they want you to be because when you become what they want, they will one day leave you for another person. And the reason is simple, you were no longer the real person that you were created to be – you attracted the wrong one. So be with the one that truly accepts you the way you are so that they don’t have to change place because you changed yourself. You should also not remain the same person or even worse than the person you were last year or a few months ago. Improve on yourself not so that people won’t call you ugly or say you have a disgusting body but because you want to become the best you for yourself.

That’s not to say that you are most times not responsible for why you have remained single, you are. You might be very cute, beautiful or handsome and wondering why you are still single. The reasons for being single are exhaustive but always remember the following as you prepare to start 2019. If you are hating the wrong people, you are going to remain single. If you are only consumed with your work day and night without having time to say hello to anyone, you will always remain single. If you are always running away from commitment, you will forever remain single. If you are always pushing everyone that shows a little sign of intimacy away, you will forever remain single. If you are in love with someone you know that you will never have or meet in life, your case is very serious and you will forever remain single. You will remain single if you think it’s your parent’s responsibility to find someone for you.

Let me give you a few more reasons why you are probably the way you and ultimately why you are still single. If you follow relationship standards on social media, you will remain single forever. If you are always looking for the perfect partner, stop wasting your time as that will leave you single for many years to come because the only perfect one, Jesus, has come, died and risen. If you cannot handle your own drama, don’t expect anyone to casually accept to handle your emotional and adult tantrums. Your dramatic and erratic lifestyle will keep you single for as long as you refuse to grow up and stop being rude. You will remain single if you still don’t “talk” to nobody. If you enjoy isolating yourself, you will always remain single. If you want approval from your friends regarding the people you want to date, you will always remain single.

I have said enough on the things that are probably keeping you from being single but I won’t forgive myself if I don’t remind you that for as long as you continue to complain about being single, you will forever remain single. Don’t start 2019 complaining and blaming those that left you. Stop saying that no one is interested in you when you yourself are not interested in others. If you are always isolating and protecting yourself from people because you are hurt, who will reach you and who will love you? The new year is here, start positioning yourself for the higher life God has called you to live. Get involved in social works, become involved with real people, spread joy around you and joy will come back to you threefold. Don’t be scared going for a date because you have been single for too long. If your heart is broken, it’s not beyond repairs. Be yourself, eat what you want instead of pretending that you love salad. Crack as many jokes as you want and laugh as much as you can but don’t be weird, and don’t be awkward – say something intelligent. If you are a lady and you must go on a date with a man to a soccer game, don’t hold back from beating him to it by explaining the penalty rules if you need to.

In whatever you do, be your true self, not a copy and let your light shine for all to see. See the light in others and treat them as if that is all you see. Get off your high horse and start walking the talk — enough of your excuses in 2018 because no one is going to randomly fall in love with you. If the person you love failed to stay, if they choose to walk away even when you have done all that you can for them, count it all joy because God just saved you from the wrong one. If you keep giving without receiving from them, count it all joy and move on with your life in peace instead of in pieces because where there is great pain, there is a greater purpose. No matter how hard it is to forget the pains of your last experience, don’t let it define you – you are all that you’ve got. You shouldn’t allow the fear of what you have experienced in your 2018 singles season to paralyze the future God has for you in 2019.

Until then, stop letting the enemy beat you down and stop saying that no one really cares that you are falling apart. It is possible that troubles and disappointments will come, but count it all joy in Jesus Name by remembering God’s promise to you in Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV). “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope”. There is hope and a future for you, seize it in the name of Jesus! He sees you, knows your pains, loves you, and He has a plan for you! There is a man or woman out there for you, they have been born and already part of life — take one step forward and befriend them. The right one has been praying to meet you and who knows? The next day, next month next morning, next year, your story will change because you finally met the one God has for you. Someone who’ll love you as much as you love them. It may not be right now, but he or she will eventually be there sooner or later!

Be encouraged,
~Ali Papa.

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