This is my first letter to you this year and by far the longest. You are going to need to read it twice because I want you to stop looking back at 2018 and most especially your life and weeping uncontrollably. I sent you several letters last year reminding you never to let yourself stay sad and to understand that by leaving behind your old self and taking a leap of faith into the unknown, you will find out what you are truly capable of becoming.
More than anyone else, you should take a look back at 2018 and celebrate all your moments — big, small and in between with no one but you. Even though your heart was broken, your life was changed. Even though there were many falls, there were also many rises. You might have had a lot of emotional pains and personal hardship but you also experienced self-growth. While some pieces might not look pretty and fit together, they were all that you needed to get to where you are now. Not only did God got you through difficult days you never thought you would emerge from and see the light, but He also taught you how to do better the next time.
You are not, and never will be, a failure you that needed help but was acting and looking a lot like you don’t need help. You that was crying because it was over, instead of smiling because it happened. You that became so tired of the loneliness you were in. You that was wondering why they didn’t understand how much their words were hurting you. You that was letting insecurity eat you. You that was asking how to say goodbye to someone who wasn’t exactly gone and you that was broken so beautifully that somehow everything and everyone else will forever be ugly to you. You made it through 2018! If a problem takes you to prayer, then it has served its purpose. I pray that everything will go the right way for you this year and that every shot and attack of the enemy will come to nothing!
You that didn’t know if you still had the ability and courage to keep on going and keeping on. You that felt you were not moving on in the right direction despite all your efforts and prayers. You that despite all your efforts, you really couldn’t live without them. You that got out of a dark place and you were thinking to yourself, “I’m never letting myself fall into this hole again…” and then you found yourself in the same darkness despite all your efforts to stay happy. Today is a new day because you made it through 2018. May “God, your God, restore everything you lost”. May He “have compassion on you”. May He “come back and pick up the pieces” of the past year and restore you back to favour again — Deuteronomy 30:3 (MSG).
I felt your heart hurting, you that was always crying your eyes to sleep and struggling to move on from someone you had but never had the chance to be yours. You that knew you needed to let go, but couldn’t because you were still waiting for the impossible to happen. You that was doing just fine before you met him or her. You that gave everything but still wasn’t enough and you that almost lost your mind because everything was confusing. Congratulations for making it through 2018 showing that the race was never to the swift, nor the battle to the strong. May His Grace locate you and bring you in just at the right time this year — Ecclesiastes 9:11. May “the LORD bless you with peace from all your enemies” — 2 Chronicles 15:15 (CEV). May this be the time, where you decide to persevere and be determined to not give up no matter what.
I saw you scream until you had no more strength you that took pleasure in creating problems that were only existing in your head. You that was over thinking about things that will never happen. You that wanted them to chase after you when you left. You that was wishing they don’t be in love with someone else. You that was hoping that perhaps you’ll meet them again when you both are better for each other. You made it through 2018 too and I pray for you today, you will not die in that situation. You will not be consumed by that mistake. You will not fail. That weapon fashioned against you will not prosper. God will restore you to favour again. Everything will work out right. Help will come when you need one. You have authority, you will decree a thing and it will come to pass.
I felt your anger and frustration too, you that didn’t know what love felt like until you met them, but eventually knew what a broken heart felt like. You that was feeling that you couldn’t love anyone else because your heart still belongs to the one who broke it. You that no one could see your broken heart because it was like having broken ribs even though the pain was unbearable every time you breathe. You made it through 2018 because God was faithful (reliable, trustworthy, and therefore EVER TRUE to His promise). If He didn’t give up on you then. He won’t give up on you this year. May everything you set your hands to do this year be fruitful. May God give you the enablement that you need. May He give you your heart desires. May He cause you to prosper in all things. May He give you good and precious gifts. May He restore you to favour in Jesus Name! — Ruth 4:13.
I wish I could stop remembering you, you that was wondering when or where you were going to lay your eyes on the one you should love and who could love you back. You that couldn’t talk because you wanted to cry. You that was feeling so lonely yet you couldn’t let anyone in for the fear of getting hurt. You that was broken from a past that can’t be repaired. You that couldn’t even love yourself enough, you that will never truly embrace love because you were either broken, sad, depressed, detached, lost, emotional or simply unstable. I am particularly glad that you made it through 2018. May God give you a new start. May He continue to restore you to favour. May He answer your prayers without delay this year and may He give you that desired healing — as good as new — 1 Kings 13:6 (MSG).
I remember telling you to be “chilled”, you that couldn’t stop loving the wrong person. You that was so weak and helpless before stumbled on these letters. You that was trying to learn how to be strong and resilient. You that was trying to learn how to fight for your voice and stand up for yourself. You that was learning how to survive in this wicked world and you that was learning how to live alone when all you ever needed was a hand to hold on to. You didn’t only make it through 2018, you have become a champion of hope to many. Continue to wax strong because great things are in your future! Put your shoulders back and begin to declare what God says about you. The favour of God is giving you an edge in every other situation this year.
You made it through 2018, you that was tired of getting your hopes up and being disappointed. You that ended up disappointed thinking people will do for you as you did for them. You that was disappointed because you didn’t have the same opportunity as those around you. You that was disappointed because you never got the chance to say you were sorry. You that was sad because he or she disappointed you. You that was disappointed in how it turned out. You that was disappointed in how they acted toward you. You that was disappointed because it didn’t go the way you thought it would go. You that was disappointed because of rejection and you that was tired of been disappointed. May God Himself now make your darkness light before you in this new year and the crooked things straight (Isaiah 42:16).
You fought a good fight of faith, you that was stressing over small things and over thinking your life. You that was anxious and still coping. You that was wondering how many people you have to be before you could become yourself. You that have loved others so much that you didn’t have any left for yourself. You that was afraid and ashamed to tell your story because of how you will be perceived or demonized. Congratulations on making it through 2018. In this new year, may you be weighted down, NOT with burdens, NOT with problems, BUT with the Grace and favour of God. May you see favour everywhere you go. May His favour be so heavy upon you such that it will begin to cause you to shine and shine and shine.
I am proud of how far you have come, you that wasn’t okay, but good at pretending that you were. You that was done emotionally, drained mentally but smiling physically. You that was tired but still fighting. You that was always hanging on to the hope that things will get better. You that completely lost count of the smiles you faked. You that was in pain and didn’t know what to feel anymore. You that was afraid to fall for the wrong person again. You that was always prepared for goodbyes because that was all you’ve ever known and you that was pushed to the point where you no longer cared. You made it through 2018. May you never be described as less than, intimidated or weak again this year; you will be known and seen as a man or woman loaded with God’s favour.
You that was always trying to find the right person instead of being the right person. You that spent too much time looking for more, instead of appreciating what you already had. You that failed to realise that your struggle was part of your story. You that was thrown away because you looked like you don’t have much to offer. You that was thrown away because you couldn’t fit in. You made it through 2018 too. May no one ever see you this year and ask where is your God. May God make your pathways straight for those things that are to come to today — Psalm 32:8.
You that was asking what was the opposite of happiness since that was all you could feel right then. You that refused to walk away from a relationship that was certain to kill you. You that was threatened with a knife and left with bruises last year. You whose ONLY crime was getting married to a devil in a wife or a husband. You that was afraid to walk away from a relationship that weighs you down instead of lifting you up. You that was in a relationship that made you feel bad about being you. You exercised your faith and you were able to make it through 2018. May this season be a happy one that will fill your mouth with songs of praise.
You that was asking when will enough be enough. You that was feeling abandoned by everyone that ever loved you. You that was blaming God for not answering your prayers. You that was in denial of the power of God and always thinking that you were not qualified for God’s mercy. You that was crying for help that seemed so far away. You that was abandoned because they felt you were not good enough. You that was abandoned because of that unwanted pregnancy — possibly through rape or fetal abnormality or maybe just because you’re just too young or poor and you that was dumped and abandoned because of a petty argument. You made it this far, you survived 2018. The God who began a good work in you will perfect it (Philippians 1:6). He knew today was coming and He has a plan. May everything He has said (every promise) about you come true (Luke 1:37).
You that was emotionally and financially paralysed by your circumstances. You that was allowing your circumstances to dictate your outcome. You whose happiness depended on your circumstances. You that was blaming your circumstances for why you weren’t where you wanted to be in life. You that was justifying your worries because of your circumstances. You that waited for your circumstances to be perfect before you could pursue a goal or bucket list item and you that allowed your circumstances to cloud your vision for tomorrow. You made it through 2018 because you took your eyes off those circumstances — God isn’t surprised by them! May His peace continue to surpass every difficulty in your life this year — Romans 8:37. He is going to do it for you because you dared to believe Him!
You that was deeply hurt, you that was loved less by those you expected to love you the most. You that was let down by your family. You that was gracefully broken at a time you had no control over your emotions. You that was a victim of real love but in bad timing. You that received more rejections than acceptances because of your address than your age and weight combined. Get ready for the overflow instead of wondering how you were able to make it this far. God’s favour is the reason why you are not looking like what you’ve been through. May God help you to not depend on what you see with your eyes or feel with your emotions. May you trust His sight in Jesus Name. And may His blessings for you override your failure or mistakes.
You that was looking for strength to get through whatever it was that was causing you so much internal conflict. You that thought you’ve lost what you truly loved and nothing was left for you. You that didn’t know why you were still hoping. You that wanted to get away from everything for a while but you couldn’t. You that was asking yourself if only things could go back to how they used to be. You that had millions of tears to cry, but you had chosen to smile. You that was blaming yourself for exaggerating your place in their lives. You that was wishing happiness was permanent. You that was having a hopeless crush on someone you had no chance with. You that had hope it was you and them in the end. You made it through 2018 despite all the tears. Last year may not have been all YOU wanted it to be. But God used it — good and bad — to make you all HE wanted you to be. May God’s favour upon you make up for your disappointment. May all that God has planned for you never be stopped by people.
You that was afraid but didn’t know what you were afraid of — to see him or her again or never to see him or her again. You that was so lonely that you forgot what you were worth. You that was over thinking every word and exhausted by all the different chaos. You that was thinking the best you ever had with him or her was just a memory. You that never thought that he or she would become temporary in your life at that time of your life. You that craved for him or her so much that you were literally aching and you that cried with no tears thinking and hoping that God will somehow bring back to you everything that you have ever lost. You made it through 2018 because God flipped things in your favour. May God exceed your expectations in this new year. May He give you that over and above kind of favour!
You that was yearning to be loved all your life, and finally, be happy. You that grew up in an abusive family with toxic parents. You whose heart was broken day and night and your pain made you fall. You that was bullied every day and had people scream in your face, calling you all manner of names and telling you how you were never going to amount to anything in life. You that didn’t know what happiness was anymore. You that was questioning if your parents were actually yours because of how bad they treated you. You that had so much hatred towards those that wronged you for too long. You that was not able to find an expression to define your pains. You made it through 2018 and here you stand. That’s a testament that what God has laid up for you is better than what you lost. I’m praying that divine strength and peace be yours this year.
You that was feeling more in love with your memory than the person that stood in front of you. You that was forever observing love, forever wishing to be loved, and forever never being loved. You that was hurt by having someone in your heart but couldn’t have them in your arms. You that was wondering and asked how to act serene when your heart has been shredded to pieces. You that was without a father. You whose father left you at a very early age. You that never knew your father. You that didn’t have a relationship with your father. You that lived with an abusive father and you that was raised by your mum alone. Even though you were at the lowest point in your life then, you made it through 2018. The weapons the enemy formed against you DIDN’T prosper. May His love and protection continue to be yours this year. May He give you what it took others years to get.
What you went through didn’t define you! You are not what you came from you that was thinking your life was just an endless episode of you walking around saying “How did I get into this street of life?” You that was wondering what episode you were on in your life — like will there be any new characters introduced? Any season finales coming up? You that was dealing with emotional and depressive episodes. You that was drowning with sadness in your own tears. You that was feeling like your strength had left your body and you couldn’t do anything. You that was wondering why was it that everyone you loved ended up leaving you — the one that fell in love with your smile left when they saw your sadness. You that was at one of the lowest points of your life. You that depression gave you days where you could barely get out of bed. You that was familiar with completely feeling alone. You that have stopped talking to nearly everyone because when they left you and you were not only battling heartbreak but grief, fear, shock and stress. I want you to know that you were among the few that made it through 2018. All the darts the enemy aimed at you missed you because you were favoured. Weapons, plots and schemes against you didn’t prosper either because God was, and He is still with you. His favour was your fortress. And more than ever before, may the LORD bless you and protect you in this new year. May the LORD smile on you and be gracious to you. May the LORD show you His favour and give you His peace (Numbers 6:24-26).
You that fought a battle that no one understood or knew about. You that woke up every morning and wished you never had to change yourself to win someone else’s heart. You that was ruined everything without trying. You that had so many thoughts and ended up creating problems that never existed. You that compared your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 18. You that thought it was too late to run back to God. You that regretted why you left too early. You that looked at your memories and was overwhelmed with sadness and embarrassment for the person you were last year. You that found it so hard to forget what hurt you in the past. You that spent time so much on things that kept you stagnant. You that had a horrible feeling that you were not good enough despite how hard you tried. You that regretted what you went through in your dark days when you should have been thankful for all the lesson it taught you and you that was enveloped in sadness understood only by you. Even though 2018 wasn’t the best year, you came out of it a better person than you were before. You made it through 2018 and things can only get better for you this year.
Let your scars tell your story, not your wounds, you that had dream much and done very little. You that lost best friends you thought would always be there for you. You that was left alone in the cold before you were done needing them. You that witnessed things that have changed you forever. You whose thoughts were like an agitated sea, giving you no rest or peace. You that made the wrong decision and then everything fell apart. You that cried yourself to sleep every night and you that was sick of feeling that way. You that was not so much like yourself anymore. You that was in a season and wishing God could just work an instant miracle and turn things around immediately for you. You made it through 2018 and stronger for it. Today, you are more than anything you went through. So don’t quit now! This is not the end of your story. God is going to use your story to change history for you and those around you. It’s my prayer that all will go well for you in Jesus Name.
No matter how hard life has been for you in 2018, there is absolutely NOTHING too hard for God, you that was desperately seeking love and at the same time desperately avoiding it. You that was searching for a darker place to hide because you wished you were more than who you were. You that found it hard to love with a heart that was hurting. You that hoped you never had to say goodbye to the next person you fell in love with. You that was desperately seeking for approvals and wherever it came from. You that was brutally broken and seeking for another chapter to your story. You that was feeling hopelessly empty and lonely in the street of life that you found yourself. You made it through 2018 unscathed and now is the time to make 2019 your best year ever. It’s my prayer that God will order your steps on the path that’s best for you. May He do what you want most and let all go well for you.
Don’t let what you went through turn you into someone you’re not in this new year, you that didn’t understand half the stuff that God has put you through in 2018. You that was wondering and asking if you were in that mess because you were not faithful? You that was wondering if your faith had wavered? You that studied His Word but was wondering why things didn’t turn out right. You that experienced unfulfilled longings, unrequited initiatives, unanswered prayers, unrealized aspirations, deferred hopes, and incomplete understandings to your situation. Listen, you made it through 2018. You should be proud of yourself. Faith is closing your eyes and knowing that the sun will rise tomorrow. Be faithful and walk carefully with God this year and If He was faithful to you in 2018, He will be faithful to you in 2019.
Have faith today in the midst of unbelievable circumstances, you that was in a dark place thinking that you have been buried. You that was in a dark place with so much going wrong and thinking that nothing was going to get better than it was right then. You that fought so hard to get out of bed every day. You that was hurt and emotionally broken. You that missed the person you were before you had your first heartbreak. You that missed the person you were before you got betrayed by the person you once trusted the most and you that was smiling every day but was broken inside. You made it through 2018.
You may not be where you want to be but you are not where you used to be, you that have allowed the low frequency of guilt and regret to occupy more space and time in your life. You that pretended to be you and forgot who you were. You that tried to impress others rather than working on yourself. You that felt powerless living in other peoples worlds and you that looked backwards with regrets instead of looking forward with hope. You made it through 2018 because you fought to get beyond the demons that came to take you out. May the Lord make you lie down in green pastures this year. May He leads you by still waters and restores peace to your soul (Psalm 23:2-3).
God is not ashamed to be called your God (Hebrews 11:16), you whose relationship was in trouble. You that almost ended up losing yourself while trying to hold onto someone who has never cared about losing you. You that was treated like a cigarette — they used you only when they were bored and stepped on you once they were done. You that slowly got drowned into the arms of the wrong person because it was easier for you than to face yourself. You that was left to wonder for the rest of your life why you were never enough for them. You that was wondering and asking how you could be happy when you were still broken and you that was in love with someone in your sleep and waking up alone. It was a tough year but you made it through 2018. I am praying that all that the Lord has called you to do shall come to pass this year! People will look at you and your family and say, “What a great thing has God done!” (Numbers 23:23, The Message).
No obstacle is too big for God, you that looked for an escape from the heap of lies against you — wanting to be faceless, wishing to conceal your identity, because your face had become a burden to you. You that was surrounded by piles of hatred, distress and sorrow. You that was wondering and asking yourself, why was it that everything you did, went wrong? You made it through 2018 even though you never saw yourself for who you really were and what you were capable of. It’s a new year now and you should never forget that no one can curse you without your permission! Numbers 24:9 (MSG) says, “Whoever blesses you is blessed, whoever curses you is cursed.” Believe that God is at work in you this year. Believe that He has good plans for you. Believe that He will complete every good work that He’s started in your life!
No shackles, no bondage, no stronghold can hinder the next move of God in your life, you whose only existence was to be at the disposal of other people. You that had a hard time and was afraid of putting yourself first. You that felt guilty about removing toxic people from your life. You that was always making room for people that caused you pain or made you feel small. You whose other people’s lives, problems, and wants set the course of your life and you that was exhausted trying to be stronger than you felt. You made it through 2018 because you had to go through all that to get here. Don’t give up now. It’s harvest time and you must continue to push for more of God this year. I pray that God will meet you in this season of expectation! May He raise an angel to comfort you in Jesus Name.
The change you seek is on the way. It may not look like it now, but your turnaround is coming you that was afraid of being yourself because of the thoughts and fears of others. You that was constantly thinking of every worst-case scenario of how others may treat you if you came out to the world. You that was always feeling put down around your “friends”. You that thought that you were not good enough and you that was insecure about everything and afraid of wearing a certain piece of clothing. You made it through 2018 despite all that was thrown at you. Stop focusing on what you are not and focus on what you are. I know you were stretched in 2018 but don’t worry. God’s setting you up to bless you. It may feel bad, but it’s working for your good. Greater is coming!
The Lord heard you before the words were even spoken through your lips, you that said YES too quickly and not saying NO soon enough because you didn’t want to let someone down. You that got broke, stuck in a constant circle and wearing yourself out trying to please everyone. You that was beating yourself up thinking you were not doing your best. You that went after dreams that weren’t about you and you that went after someone who didn’t want you. You that felt defeated, frustrated and filled with regrets. You that didn’t know where all the pieces of you were and how to fit them together anymore. You that felt that what you were waiting for was never going to happen. You that couldn’t sleep, eat, breathe or think — not because you were happy but because you were unable to escape from the hurt in your heart. You made it through 2018 but today, the enemy only has the power you give him. Your choices (Deuteronomy 30:19) — become his strength. Let praise be your weapon (2 Chronicles 20:22). May the hand of the Lord keep working in your favour, causing blessings to flow in your direction and breakthrough to manifest in your life.
You that was desperately seeking for a ray of hope but didn’t know how long it was going to take you to get your life back. You that had friends but didn’t have anyone to talk to about the drama that was going on in your head. You that became a loner not because you enjoyed solitude and not willing to blend with people but because people had continually disappointed you. You that allowed loneliness to become an acid that eats away at you. You that had an idea of how everyone you met should be. You that was always comparing everyone you meet to someone in your past and you that nothing and nobody was ever good enough for, you made it through 2018 because you were favoured, covered, protected and preordained to win. Today, it doesn’t matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been, God’s grace is waiting for you to begin again. (Isaiah 54:16-17 (MSG)
God is for you. He is on your side, you that was finding it so hard to leave someone that was perfectly wrong for you. You that found it hard to leave your abuser. You whose addiction was easier to get but hard to leave. You that had forgotten how to love but remembered how to always fight. You that was tired of pretending that you were happy even though the pain was killing you silently. You that let a bad breakup caused you to stray away from God. You that let a bad chapter stopped you from having a great story and you that allowed a bad situation and experience to paralyze you with fear and to define your journey and your entire life, you made it through 2018. It doesn’t matter if tears are still near — but joy comes in the morning — Psalms 30:5. May the Lord make you lie down in green pastures. May He leads you by still waters and restores peace to your soul. Psalms 23:2-3
Troubles don’t always last, you that was bashed, slandered, misunderstood, mistreated, defamed, despised, disparaged, humiliated, publicly embarrassed and falsely accused of things you knew nothing about. You that was wrongfully terminated from your job because of false accusations from a coworker. You that was living in shame and paying a high price because you were falsely accused by your spouse or partner of infidelity or for cheating on them. You that was not only discriminated against but falsely accused of shoplifting, stealing or involved in a robbery and left for people to start questioning your character, see what God has done for you-you made it through 2018. The One that brought you this far, the one that brought you into that job, into that marriage or relationship, into that home, into that city, into that “blessed mess” and into this new year is not sleeping. “The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he’ll do it!” — 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
No matter what is in this world, no matter the situation you are faced with at work or at home, and no matter who is against you, you are more than enough you that was looking back at your life in regret instead of looking forward. You that was looking back at your life and couldn’t identify the person that you became. You that looked back at your life and realized that in a quest of making everyone around you happy, you lost yourself. I see you — KEEP TRYING! I feel you — DON’T GIVE UP! I am praying for you — YOU WILL SURVIVE IT! I am with you — YOU KNOW IT! There’s favour on your life, even in unfavourable circumstances because “God can be trusted day after day.” — (Psalms 52:1b CEV). May everything good from Him be yours! May “His Spirit give you rest, just as cattle find rest when led into a valley. The name of the LORD will be praised for doing these things for you — (Isa 63:14 CEV).
This is your year! Live mindfully and treasure this moment. Take risks, have fun, live life to its fullest and find something worth living for. Everything you want and the person you want to be is waiting for your embrace. Never let anyone dictate your life choices and don’t let anxiety and depression keep you from becoming what God has called you into this year. Let go of all the things that held you back, so you can hold on to what matters most. No matter how unlikely it feels like to you right now, I want you to know that everything will be alright eventually.
I am sorry this took so long! I hope it opens up new vistas of hope and happiness for you in this new year as you stay loyal to yourself.
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