You Deserve The Love You Keep Trying To Give

Dear Someone,

This letter is for you, you that is being ignored because you don’t fit in. You that’s being ignored because of something you know nothing about, you that is being ignored because you don’t know anyone and have no one to help. This letter is for you, you that have been ignored as if you were dead, as if you were a broken pot and you that’s tired of putting up with being ignored or shunned, spat at, and berated by those you once called your own or someone who means the world to you. If you think you would be the most popular in the universe if being ignored meant so, then this letter is for you.

I am sorry someone you loved badly is ignoring you and making you feel like you take up more space than you deserve in their lives. I am sorry you are in pain because you are probably about to lose someone you love. I am sorry for your heartbreak knowing that someone you love is probably with someone he used to love. I am sorry that trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew. I am sorry they abandoned you when you needed them the most and it has made you believe that love is an awful thing that hurts.

I know first hand that conflicts, fights and differences are exhausting. I also know that slow replies hurt, loving someone is tiring and it hurts, loving someone else hurts, the truth hurts, it hurts too when someone doesn’t feel the same way about you, but nothing is worse than being ignored from close people. Unfortunately, you don’t have to be a difficult person to be ignored. You don’t have to be lonely and desperate on the street for you to be ignored. You don’t have to have all the facts and logic together for you to be ignored. You don’t have to be contagious of something for you to be ignored and most importantly, you don’t have to be guilty of anything for you to be ignored, stretched, stressed and struggling with your emotions.

David knew what been ignored meant when he said in Psalms 31:11-15 (NLT), “I am scorned by all my enemies and despised by my neighbors — even my friends are afraid to come near me. When they see me on the street, they turn the other way. 12 I have been ignored as if I were dead, as if I were a broken pot. 13 I have heard the many rumours about me, and I am surrounded by terror. My enemies conspire against me, plotting to take my life. 14 But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, “You are my God!” 15 My future is in your hands. Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly”.

It doesn’t matter how long you might have been ignored, it doesn’t matter how lonely that makes you feel, and it also doesn’t matter how you feel when no one cares to talk about you or to you, but it matters how you see yourself, it matters who you turn to at such a time as this, and it matters what you are saying to yourself. When David was in sudden fear and ignored by everyone, he trusted God and asked Him to rescue him. He testified and said in Psalms 31:22 (NLT) that God heard his cry for mercy and answered his call for help.

God is able to help you out of this loneliness, the same way He helped David. So don’t ever feel or think that you have become a history to everyone; don’t allow your brain to go into overdrive and think that you have done everything wrong; don’t feel like you badly need a chance to show your existence or to prove your worth to the one that’s ignoring you; don’t hold a grudge because of how they have treated you — doing so is letting them live rent-free in your head; don’t try to match their energy with yours and don’t waste your time for tit-for-tat — your worst battle is most often between what you know and what you feel.

Before you give up on yourself, think of the reason why you held on for so long. Not everyone will like you because of your weird habit of being yourself all the time. Not everyone will like you because you don’t fit into their box. Not everyone will like you because not everyone has good taste. Not everyone will like you because not everyone knows your story. Not everyone will like you because your mindset is different from theirs. Not everyone will like you because of your beliefs and the stand you have taken for God. Not everyone will like you because you are either different or you play by a different set of rules. Not everyone will like you because not everything you do can please everyone. No matter who you are, not everyone will like you because we are all battling with something. Don’t let the opinions of people steal your identity and change you to who you’re not.

Forgive those that made you get too attached to them and then stop talking to you. Forgive those that made you cry, sad and miserable. Forgive those that made you wrong them and those that made it their goal to make your life a living hell by any means. Most importantly, forgive yourself — it’s your gift to you and reminds yourself that there is a difference between being ignored for no reason, and being ignored for some reasons or after interest is shown to someone.

Have a reason to wake up even though being ignored is a silent treatment — everyone hates it! Have a reason to smile even though being ignored is tiring — it makes the mind sick. Have a reason to be kind even though being ignored is a lonely path to walk in — it’s like having absolutely no one to go to outside the comfort of your own home. Have a reason to be there for others even though being ignored is like being completely shut out every time from those you care about — don’t over think it! Have a reason to be even though being ignored by someone you love can kill — not everyone can manage their emotions. Have a reason to shout for joy in the midst of that darkness even though being ignored is the worst feeling ever — not everyone can move on easily.

I know this is difficult for you but continue to be a good person rather than trying to remember the last time that you were happy, continue to believe in yourself but don’t waste your time proving it. Don’t waste your time seeking answers knowing that being ignored is an answer and trying to fix what’s not meant to stay together is a futile exercise. Don’t waste your time on anyone that doesn’t appreciate you knowing that being ignored is annoying — especially from someone that you’d least expect it from. And no matter how painful it is when you’re being ignored by the person whose attention is the only thing you want in the world, accept the fact that it happened. Acknowledge the fact that it happened and forgive the one that made it happened — even if it’s sad to meet the right person at the wrong time.

Stop crying yourself to sleep knowing that being ignored is very depressing — not everyone knows how to get out of that environment easily. Don’t live your life thinking you’re your own problem for being ignored — it is very frustrating, especially when you don’t know why. You might not be who you could be right now but being ignored is not a reason to start guessing what could be wrong with you. Don’t allow your crippling jealousy, anxiety and abandonment ruin your life knowing that being ignored is soul-destroying — it can build up insecurities in you that you didn’t have before.

If after you have been ignored and despised, if after you have lost and loved and your heart is still pushing you to check on people, do so but remember to choose people that have chosen you — trying to reach out and being ignored for no reason or for any obvious reason is exhausting. Putting your energy in the wrong places too will also deplete you neither is standing with people that hurt you — it’s better to stand alone and allow God’s mercies to speak for you.

Until tomorrow, count your blessings instead of your worries. Don’t wander away from yourself to get close to someone else. Stop chasing after people and being the only one trying to fix everything. Don’t allow loneliness to make you run into the arms of people you know you shouldn’t be with. Stop thinking that if you try a little harder or love a little more than they will notice your heart and how it beats for them — you deserve the love you keep trying to give everyone else. Learn to love yourself and stop putting your self-esteem in the hands of others. Have a reason for waking up knowing that life is so beautiful. Find peace with whoever comes and goes from your life knowing that God is still changing lives. Have the confidence and faith that no one can successfully finish you off irrespective of how many times you might have been ignored, or prosecuted (see Psalms 129:2 NLT).

Be encouraged,

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