Go Easy On Yourself

Dear Someone,

This letter is for you, you that have been on a long journey filled with shame (huge), humiliation, fear, hate, anger, pain (a lot), regret, insecurities, doubt, shock, tears and sadness amongst other negative emotions. You that is trying so hard to destroy yourself because of the damage done to you by others. This letter is for you also, you that keep getting hurt and feeling that nobody will ever love or care for you because you are too loud, too fat, too ugly, slow, naive, gullible, stupid, lazy, selfish, provocative or demanding.

While I might not be able to describe exactly what and how you’re feeling on the inside, it’s my desire that when you are done reading this letter, you will come to understand that holding unto shame or mistakes is the burden of all. It is my desire that you will come to understand that the greatest prison that people live in is the fear of what other people think. It is my desire that at some point you will come to understand that all is never the same — things are not as they are seen. Lastly, it is my desire that you will take a stand with me in wisdom and knowledge knowing that you have nothing to be ashamed of irrespective of what’s been thrown at you.

It doesn’t matter who is trying to crush your heart or shame you by their words, stop trying to look perfect, and do everything perfectly for them just to avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame. Their words are a reflection of who they are and not what you are. Their words are a reflection on their character, not yours. If you won’t seek their advice, invite them to your home, or hire them then, their words are a collection of pixels that don’t matter. Proverbs 16:27 calls those whose words are a reflection of them, scoundrels who create trouble.

If you’re still reading this, I want you to give up guilt or shame that’s tied to your past. Give up beating yourself up or putting yourself down. Singleness is not a disease. You have nothing to be ashamed of because you are single. You have nothing to be ashamed of after fighting fair and square but lost. You have nothing to be ashamed of because you walked away from what’s killing you. You have nothing to be ashamed of because you loved and lost. You have nothing to be ashamed of if your trust was shattered.

You have nothing to be ashamed of because you made some mistakes. You’re not defined by your mistakes but by who God called you to be. You have nothing to be ashamed of because of who you are in Christ. You have nothing to be ashamed of because of the delays you are experiencing in your journey of life. God gives each one what they will use and need for their journeys. You have nothing to be ashamed of if you made yourself vulnerable to someone, if you shared your asexuality with them, and they reacted badly.

You have nothing to be ashamed of if you don’t understand something right away or can’t make yourself understood on the first attempt. You have nothing to be ashamed of if someone you trust with a secret betrayed your trust. It shows much more about them, their integrity and how they value others — not you. You have nothing to be ashamed of if the job you do puts food on the table, and makes you happy without violating the right of others. You have nothing to be ashamed of just because you’re different — if people judge you that’s their stupidity.

You have nothing to be ashamed of because of your emotional scars or physical scars. You have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about because of your scars, acne, birthmarks or any other visible condition — they don’t make you less attractive. Keep trying — that’s all that matters. You have nothing to be ashamed of just because you grew up in a dysfunctional home. You have nothing to be ashamed of if you’re struggling with your mental health, if you need medication, if you need therapy or if you’re having bad days.

You have nothing to be ashamed of if you need a little time to gather yourself again. You have nothing to be ashamed of if it is over. The next chapter of your life is just the beginning of a beautiful story. You have nothing to be ashamed of if you start a business and failed. The only time you should feel ashamed is when you don’t even try. You have nothing to be ashamed of if you know you had to make sacrifices in your own life to be where you’re at. You have nothing to be ashamed of, if people make fun of you, it’s their issue, their insecurities and you shouldn’t let it get to you!

Whatever it is that is causing you an embarrassment, shame and or pain today has no hold over you. Shut down your feelings knowing that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Shut down your feelings knowing that there is no point in being anxious about what people are saying about you. Shut down your feelings knowing that if you aren’t hurting anyone, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Shut down your feelings, embrace your truth and forgive yourself knowing that you’re not weak, but you’re a survivor.

Until next week, go easy and be kind to yourself. You have nothing to be ashamed of if you’ve asked God for forgiveness over anything that you think you have done wrong. You have nothing to be ashamed of if you accept JESUS CHRIST into your life today as your LORD and Saviour. You have nothing to be ashamed of just because you don’t have it all together. Anyone who makes you feel worthless, less attractive or unlovable, is not someone you need in your life, and they are not worthy of your time. If you are going to give up on yourself for anything, give up beating yourself up for believing you aren’t good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, young or old enough. Whatever you do today, you are enough to live a happy and healthy life!

May whatever that is causing you shame and embarrassment comes to an end in Jesus Name.

Be encouraged,
Ali Papa.


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