Accept The Criticism For Being Silent

Dear Someone,

This letter is for you, you that is fluent in silence and keeping a lot to yourself because it is difficult to find people that understand you. This letter is for you, you that is using silence to express your pain, frustration and disappointment. This letter is for you too, you whose silence is often seen either as snobby, weakness, foolishness, cocky, ignorance, bitchiness, stubbornness, arrogance or as an acceptance of defeat.

I am going to tell you a secret: we all need silence sometimes — it helps to avoid problems, says a lot more than you think, and you should never be ashamed to say that it is an art that you have practiced many times. You should never be ashamed too to accept the criticism for being silent than the sin of saying the wrong thing or making presumptuous judgment!

While I understand that the worst way you can leave or respond to someone is in silence, being silent does not mean you don’t want to talk. It doesn’t mean you are weak, foolish, cocky, ignorant, bitchy, stubborn, arrogant or a snob. It doesn’t mean that you are not aware of what’s going around you, it doesn’t mean you don’t care, it doesn’t mean you don’t move your lips, it doesn’t mean you are avoiding something, it doesn’t mean you are insensitive to other people’s emotions. It just means you have enough patience to let things cool down. It just means there are fights that are not worth your energy and attention. It just means you would prefer to speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

You might have also chosen to be silent when you should speak for many other reasons. It is possible you couldn’t say YES or NO to them not because you can’t but because you couldn’t say what you wanted to say. It is possible you couldn’t say what you wanted to say because people don’t remember the words of their enemies but the silence of their friends. It is possible you couldn’t say what you wanted to say because time and memories expire. It is possible you couldn’t say what you wanted to say without coming off as aggressive.

Being a good friend doesn’t mean you always have all the right words to say. Sometimes it is possible you couldn’t say what you wanted to say because you have used up all your patience, all your liking them as a friend. It is even possible you are tired of people who have failed to truly understand that everyone they meet is going through something they know nothing about. It is possible you are keeping to yourself and silently asking the Lord, to please, silence your thoughts so that you can hear His voice.

Irrespective of what has led you to this very long road of being silent on anyone, never waste your time explaining yourself to those who deserve your silence. Never hate yourself for how people make you feel because of it knowing that they’re judging you from their level of perception. Always remind yourself instead that it’s not okay when your kindness is being taken for granted, your silence is being taken for weakness, and your heart is being played with.

You that is silent and keeping a lot to yourself because it is difficult to find people that understand you, I want you to know that all truths that are kept silent becomes poisonous and makes the chest heavier. If your chest is emotionally, financially, or spiritually heavy right now, and you are silently wondering why some hearts can’t understand each other even in silence, then it’s better you let God in into your silent chaos so that you can be at peace with yourself.

If you’re reading this and you’re someone who is NOT comfortable with awkward silences, I want you to start loving yourself for everything you are. Silence is worse — it just doesn’t make anyone worthy not because the one that’s keeping silent on you wants to be perceived or seen that way but because most times the best clap back they can give you is silence.

If you’ve done everything possible, and it still feels like the person you want to talk to the most is intentionally keeping silent on you, see that silence for what it is. Don’t chase those that are silent on you and always expecting you to start the conversation. Be yourself, and leave if they make you feel lesser by keeping silent on you. True friendship only comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.

Until tomorrow, never forget the value of being silent especially when people start misinterpreting your intentions behind your words. And if solitude is what you need, implement it. If solitude is most often your best way of getting healed, enjoy it because it will make your life worth living. If talking is often a torment for you, don’t be ashamed to take many days of silence from the chaos around you to recover from the futility of words. Enjoy your life by being you and claim your power and fight with kindness in your heart.

Ali Papa.

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