Don’t Be Afraid To Cut Off Toxic Ties

Dear Someone,

I don’t know if this is for you, but understand that God will come through for you in that situation. HE DOESN’T SHOW FAVORITISM and His timing are never early, never late. It’s always on time. What He did for another, He’s able to do much more for you! (Acts 10:34). Where there needed to be a turnaround, it will be turnaround.



If your marriage has become a blessed mess for you, stop thinking you will be stuck in that mess or situation forever. Stop thinking all you will ever get and continue to experience in your marriage are going to be rough patches, lies, disappointments and knockouts. It might not be immediately, but every marital mess has an expiration date, it doesn’t last forever.

If all you see in your marriage or relationship is darkness instead of light and love, stop thinking it is your responsibility to love and nurture the darkness and evil out of your partner. In your darkest of hours, in the midst of that confusion and negativity, don’t submit to the darkness even if you can’t see the light clearly and don’t think you will be trapped in that darkness forever. It might not be immediately, but darkness has an expiration date, it doesn’t last forever.

If you are heartbroken and deeply hurt by the very person you gave your all and heart to, stop feeling like your heart will never heal or you will never get out of that emotional struggle. It might not be immediately, but all negative emotions have an expiration date, they don’t last forever.

If your marriage was and is trying to suffocate life out of you, don’t bury yourself in your pain, don’t continue to hang around your abuser just to maintain the status quo and don’t let that disappointment keep you from enjoying your life. It might not be immediately, but all hatred and abuse have an expiration date, they don’t last forever.

If you are getting too stressed, too tired and overwhelmed with issues in your relationship or marriage, stop allowing your partner or spouse to keep pushing your buttons, deactivate the buttons instead and stop giving them the reaction they want. It might not be immediately, but understand that not everyone is meant to be a part of your life forever. Some people in your life have an expiration date, learn to let go and discard.

If you are having a lot of feelings you don’t want to feel and a lot of questions but not a lot of answers because you were rejected, you don’t have to let that rejection define you neither should you have to keep trying to see how everything is going to work out. There’s more to you than the part that was rejected. Trust in the Lord to do above and beyond what you ask or expect. It might not be immediately, but your feelings have an expiration date. Your questions have an expiration date, they don’t last forever.

If you’re drowning in your marriage or relationship because you’re always trying to be their anchor, stop trying to keep everything together when your world is falling apart and stop trying to fulfil a need that your partner cannot define. I know you have a good heart but learn to fight your own battles and not that of others. It might not be immediately, but the resources at your disposal are either limited or have an expiry date, they won’t last forever.

If every night of your life is always filled with arguments, silent cries, and crying yourself to sleep, stop letting the things they say or do get to you. See this daily nightmare as only a few scenes in the long movie of your life. Don’t treat them like it’s the whole story. Keep writing your story and keep looking for a way of escape from whatever it is that is destroying you and causing you pains. It might not be immediately, but your disagreements have an expiration date, they won’t last forever.

If your spouse or partner is daily living a lie and always trying to paint you to everyone as the bad person, don’t allow them to define you for who you are not. A lie doesn’t become truth, wrong doesn’t become right and evil doesn’t become good, just because they are louder than you. It might not be immediately, but lies have an expiry date, they don’t last forever.

If your marital crises have become a drama in a court of law because of how messy your divorce process has turned out to be, don’t be embarrassed about it and never be ashamed for it. It might not be immediately, but your trials, in any form, have an expiration date, they don’t last forever. Don’t confuse a season for a lifetime.

Regardless of how emotionally damaged you are in that relationship or marriage, you that stumbled on this letter, always remember that not everyone you lose is a loss. Some people are in your life for only a season — stop holding on to what has an expiration date.

Regardless of how much you have invested in the relationship or for how long you both have been together, let go of whatever that is destroying you knowing that all friendships and crushes have an expiration date. Let go knowing that your pain has an expiry date. Let go knowing that your memory of him or her has an expiration date.

Regardless of how much you love the one in your life and how far you are willing to give them a second, third, fourth and fifth chances, understand that not all love will last forever. Some have an expiration date except (hopefully) your relationship with yourself.

Regardless of whatever you do on earth, always remember that nobody lives forever. You have an expiry date. Don’t be afraid to live your life to the fullest and don’t be afraid to cut off toxic ties. Your detractors and those that resent you will have something to say but remind them it is not your job to make them happy.

Regardless of whatever you do on earth, always remember that every opportunity has an expiration date. Don’t die in that toxic marriage or relationship with all the red flags you are seeing — save your life while you still can. Don’t stay in silent hell just because you want to maintain the status quo.

Regardless of whatever you do on earth, always remember that their foolishness towards you have an expiration date, don’t ever regret meeting that unreasonable person and don’t ever regret putting too much into them that you didn’t get back. One day you will realize they taught you the most important lesson in your life!

Regardless of whatever you do on earth, always remember that your emotional struggles have an expiration date, don’t give up on yourself and God because of a man or woman who couldn’t see your worth. That heartbreak is always an inevitable win for you on the long run.

Regardless of whatever you do on earth, always remember that every rubbish has an expiry date, don’t listen to every counsel and don’t allow their negative words to become your reality. Have a good heart and be true to it!

Regardless of whatever you do on earth, always remember that every job has an expiration date — know when your time is up in that mess. It was never your job to fix everything that is wrong with your partner. It should’ve been the two of you working on the relationship, not you doing it all alone.

Regardless of whatever you do on earth, always remember that apologies have an expiration date, know when you are emotionally being manipulated and choose your people carefully. You’re not a rug to be walked all over on.

Regardless of whatever you do on earth, always remember that loyalty has an expiration date, know your enemy and be careful who you open up to. The people closest to you are the ones who know how to make you feel worthless.

Until tomorrow, and regardless of whatever you are going through right now, reach out to those you know are hurting and lonely as hell. Irrespective of how love makes you feel, remember those going through a divorce. Reach out and tell them they are not forgotten. Reach out because everyone deserves to feel like they are loved. I just reached out to you through this letter.

Be encouraged!
Ali Papa.

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Life Is For The Living

Dear Someone,

Life might have done nothing more than let you down, you that was hoping that by now you would have been married and settled down. Life might have done nothing, but continue to be dull for you, you that is struggling to make ends meet.

Life might have done nothing, but make you feel like you are alone and worthless, you that is unappreciated and miserable in your relationship or marriage. Life might have done nothing, but treat you badly, you that was betrayed but the very person you trusted the most.

Life might have done nothing, but tear and keep you down, you that is battling with health challenges. Life might have done nothing, but disappoint you, you that was rejected, abandoned and left with many questions without answers.

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Life Is Not A Straight Line

Dear Someone,

I don’t know who this is for, but understand me well as I type these words.

Your current challenges are not there to kill you but to build you up. They are not there to stay but to pass. Your current challenges are not the most difficult thing you’ve ever had to face — acknowledge them but do not live in them. Your mistakes are your own mentorship, they are part of your story — they are not who you are.

Irrespective of the turns and detours in your relationship, stop wondering and asking if they ever really loved you. Irrespective of the detours that life has thrown at you, understand that where you are right now is where you’re supposed to be. Understand that “Sometimes, your ‘Plan B’ is really God’s ‘Plan A’. And your “detours” are all a part of His plan for your life.”- Dr Sorke.

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