Where There Is Pain, There Is Healing

Dear Someone,

This letter is for you, you that is on a diet of tears — tears for breakfast, and tears for supper; you that have had enough of everything that can possibly go wrong and you that is feeling like you have nothing left to give to anyone and to yourself.

I’ve been wanting to write you this letter for a while, but because of other life obligations, I’ve not been able to. I understand all you want right now is to escape life, hide your head, run away, curl up in a ball, sleep forever and never wake up simply because all everyone has been asking you nosily are, “Where is your God?”

You should understand that in your walk of life, people will laugh, talk about you and ask where is your God when you are facing trials. Many are those that would be watching you as you go through your situation wondering where is your God. Allow them to watch you because the One that is watching you from above is the One that called you by His Name.

It doesn’t matter what the enemy says. It matters what God says. It doesn’t matter who doesn’t like you and how bad things are for you right now — stay the course and on purpose knowing that God called you by His Name — not your name (Isaiah 49:1). He created you — you didn’t create yourself. Rather than looking for a dark place to hide, spend time with people who see what God is doing in you and focus on those who will celebrate you. Soon, they will see the evident hand of God in your life.

Irrespective of how empty or how used and emotionally drained you may feel right now, you’re still breathing. Take a step back, and take a deep breath knowing that every breath counts! Take a deep breath knowing that God is on your side and every need would be met according to His Word. Take a deep breath and appreciate the good things in life even if right now you’re at your breaking point with nothing left to give.

In that storm that you are in, the devil will whisper, “where is your God?” He will remind you of your past mistakes and failures, but learn to encourage yourself and to be strong in the Lord. He asked David where was his God. He asked Lazarus where was his God. The people cried out to Jesus Christ on the cross “where is your GOD now?”, “You can’t help yourself”. But we know He did.

Today, more than ever before, expect God to act whenever the devil comes to make you feel like you’re about to lose your mind. Always remind him that the day you gave your life to Christ was the day you lost your mind to gain the mind of Christ. Remind him that having a bad day is not the same as having a bad life. Pull yourself up out of that bed because God is near to you. If you don’t, no one is going to do it for you.

If you have tried all that you know to do and still can’t find your feet, don’t be embarrassed. Don’t be embarrassed by your struggles, failures, mistakes and the things you go through in life. Don’t be embarrassed by who you’re becoming, your eagerness, your honest vulnerabilities, and the things you cannot do to help yourself out of your present situation. Though you will be judged no matter what you do, refuse to be defined by what people say about you. God is still your ONLY help in that situation.

If your love life has put you in a desolate, dark and desperate place, don’t be embarrassed. Don’t be embarrassed by love, your feelings for anyone and the things and people you have tolerated in the past. It is better to regret the things that you have done than regret the things you haven’t done. Honour your feelings, forgive those that have hurt you, and continue to be true to yourself knowing that everything happens for a reason.

For the woman who still hasn’t forgiven herself for the abortion she had some years back, understand that we are products of our past, but we don’t have to be held hostage for it either from anyone or by your own doing. You may have made too many mistakes, and daily being haunted by your poor choices but you should never be embarrassed by your stories and past behaviours. They are yours and you should never allow people to make you feel bad or guilty for living your life the way you did or want to live it going forward.

You whose partner, husband or wife left you, you whose kids left you, you that have lost your job and about to lose your mind, you that is looking for a way to disappear from everything and everyone because of how they make you feel, this letter is for you.

When everything is confusing and you’re about to lose your mind, try to remember, it’s only the middle of the chapter. Remind yourself that things will get better for you. Remind yourself that it doesn’t matter who is laughing at you now; with God on your side, you would laugh last.

It doesn’t matter who is expecting your downfall, they will be proven wrong. Those who said you will not make it will be disappointed. Don’t fold because people are expecting your downfall, arise and shine.

You that’s feeling less of a human because you have been told repeatedly by those in your life that you will never amount to anything, you that have to deal with criticism from your partner or spouse on a daily basis, this letter is for you.

Make up your mind today, to release every person that has criticized you or tried to discourage you. Choose to forgive them; choose to turn away from that distraction. Choose to focus on Him and the blessings He has in store for you. You may not be where you want to be right now but remember, God is at work in your life. God doesn’t want you to live in the past. He wants you to keep growing and moving forward.

Refuse to be a stranger to the world and to yourself irrespective of how you feel right now. Keep calm, keep moving forward, and keep trusting that God is with you wherever you go. Remind yourself that God was there before the problem occurred. He has said in Hebrews 13:5 (TLB), “I will never, never fail you nor forsake you.”

It doesn’t matter if you are wondering and asking yourself if God has changed. He hasn’t! Let go of every feeling that is overwhelming you and remember how heartbroken you were a year ago, not knowing if you were going to make it this far. You are still here and it was God that brought you this far.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel God’s loving-kindness in your life anymore, remember all the things that should have killed you but you survived them. It was God that protected you from them all. So never allow your circumstances to steal your peace and joy. Always have the attitude that says, “This may be a big problem, but my God is bigger!”

Whenever you are worried God will forsake you forever, remember you are not the first to go through what has befallen you right now. If He came through for you in the past when no one was there for you, He will take you through this too. Don’t let doubt and discouragement distract you from trusting God. Keep believing, keep hoping, keep enduring and keep asking because the one you called your God is always faithful to His word!

Whenever you are thinking your life is not worth it anymore, just remember that God didn’t bring you this far to leave you (Philippians 1:6). He said in Isaiah 46:4 (TLB) says, “I will be your God through all your lifetime, yes, even when your hair is white with age. I made you and I will care for you. I will carry you along and be your Savior”.

Today more than ever before, stop focusing on your challenges, stop focusing on that pain, stop focusing on those that left you heartbroken, focus on God knowing that He is there with you. Focus on His perfect plan knowing that God is still a good God. Focus on His love for you knowing that all things will eventually work together for your good.

Don’t forget also that while you are crying your eyes to sleep because of the one that left you heartbroken, someone, somewhere, is battling for their lives. You have yours, do something with it! While you are unhappy, feeling unfilled and forgotten by God, you should be happy with the life you have because someone somewhere is fighting for theirs. Someone, somewhere, is wishing they have the life you are living.

While you are complaining, thinking that you are at your wit’s end because of this challenge, this mess, this drama and this circle of shame, and pain that has lasted for too long, remember that someone, somewhere is fighting to survive. Someone somewhere is depending on you to do what God has called you to do. Someone somewhere is wishing they are in your position. So be grateful, and keep moving by faith even when you feel like giving up.

I want you to enjoy the little things you can still see around you as you read this letter, for one day you may look back and realise they were the big things. Take out some time daily to reflect on how much you have. It may not be all that you want but remember that someone somewhere is dreaming to have what you have.

Keep asking God for more but thank Him for each and everything that you already have. Matthew 7:7-8 (KJV) says, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened”.

May God answer you and encourage you by giving you the strength you need whenever you pray to Him (Psalms 138:3). May He change every desolate place in your life to a beautiful place for you.

May no one ever see you and ask where is your God. Wherever people have been asking where is your God, He will manifest Himself in your favour and to the shame of your foes. May He take away every reproach that causes people to ask: “Where is your God?” in Jesus Name.

May His light and love for you always shine brighter and brighter even in your darkest days. May He hear what you want, listen to your prayers, and do what you ask of Him — Psalms 10:17 (ERV).

In His Service,
Ali Papa.

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Don’t Be Afraid To Cut Off Toxic Ties

Dear Someone,

I don’t know if this is for you, but understand that God will come through for you in that situation. HE DOESN’T SHOW FAVORITISM and His timing are never early, never late. It’s always on time. What He did for another, He’s able to do much more for you! (Acts 10:34). Where there needed to be a turnaround, it will be turnaround.

If your marriage has become a blessed mess for you, stop thinking you will be stuck in that mess or situation forever. Stop thinking all you will ever get and continue to experience in your marriage are going to be rough patches, lies, disappointments and knockouts. It might not be immediately, but every marital mess has an expiration date, it doesn’t last forever.

If all you see in your marriage or relationship is darkness instead of light and love, stop thinking it is your responsibility to love and nurture the darkness and evil out of your partner. In your darkest of hours, in the midst of that confusion and negativity, don’t submit to the darkness even if you can’t see the light clearly and don’t think you will be trapped in that darkness forever. It might not be immediately, but darkness has an expiration date, it doesn’t last forever.

If you are heartbroken and deeply hurt by the very person you gave your all and heart to, stop feeling like your heart will never heal or you will never get out of that emotional struggle. It might not be immediately, but all negative emotions have an expiration date, they don’t last forever.

If your marriage was and is trying to suffocate life out of you, don’t bury yourself in your pain, don’t continue to hang around your abuser just to maintain the status quo and don’t let that disappointment keep you from enjoying your life. It might not be immediately, but all hatred and abuse have an expiration date, they don’t last forever.

If you are getting too stressed, too tired and overwhelmed with issues in your relationship or marriage, stop allowing your partner or spouse to keep pushing your buttons, deactivate the buttons instead and stop giving them the reaction they want. It might not be immediately, but understand that not everyone is meant to be a part of your life forever. Some people in your life have an expiration date, learn to let go and discard.

If you are having a lot of feelings you don’t want to feel and a lot of questions but not a lot of answers because you were rejected, you don’t have to let that rejection define you neither should you have to keep trying to see how everything is going to work out. There’s more to you than the part that was rejected. Trust in the Lord to do above and beyond what you ask or expect. It might not be immediately, but your feelings have an expiration date. Your questions have an expiration date, they don’t last forever.

If you’re drowning in your marriage or relationship because you’re always trying to be their anchor, stop trying to keep everything together when your world is falling apart and stop trying to fulfil a need that your partner cannot define. I know you have a good heart but learn to fight your own battles and not that of others. It might not be immediately, but the resources at your disposal are either limited or have an expiry date, they won’t last forever.

If every night of your life is always filled with arguments, silent cries, and crying yourself to sleep, stop letting the things they say or do get to you. See this daily nightmare as only a few scenes in the long movie of your life. Don’t treat them like it’s the whole story. Keep writing your story and keep looking for a way of escape from whatever it is that is destroying you and causing you pains. It might not be immediately, but your disagreements have an expiration date, they won’t last forever.

If your spouse or partner is daily living a lie and always trying to paint you to everyone as the bad person, don’t allow them to define you for who you are not. A lie doesn’t become truth, wrong doesn’t become right and evil doesn’t become good, just because they are louder than you. It might not be immediately, but lies have an expiry date, they don’t last forever.

If your marital crises have become a drama in a court of law because of how messy your divorce process has turned out to be, don’t be embarrassed about it and never be ashamed for it. It might not be immediately, but your trials, in any form, have an expiration date, they don’t last forever. Don’t confuse a season for a lifetime.

Regardless of how emotionally damaged you are in that relationship or marriage, you that stumbled on this letter, always remember that not everyone you lose is a loss. Some people are in your life for only a season — stop holding on to what has an expiration date.

Regardless of how much you have invested in the relationship or for how long you both have been together, let go of whatever that is destroying you knowing that all friendships and crushes have an expiration date. Let go knowing that your pain has an expiry date. Let go knowing that your memory of him or her has an expiration date.

Regardless of how much you love the one in your life and how far you are willing to give them a second, third, fourth and fifth chances, understand that not all love will last forever. Some have an expiration date except (hopefully) your relationship with yourself.

Regardless of whatever you do on earth, always remember that nobody lives forever. You have an expiry date. Don’t be afraid to live your life to the fullest and don’t be afraid to cut off toxic ties. Your detractors and those that resent you will have something to say but remind them it is not your job to make them happy.

Regardless of whatever you do on earth, always remember that every opportunity has an expiration date. Don’t die in that toxic marriage or relationship with all the red flags you are seeing — save your life while you still can. Don’t stay in silent hell just because you want to maintain the status quo.

Regardless of whatever you do on earth, always remember that their foolishness towards you have an expiration date, don’t ever regret meeting that unreasonable person and don’t ever regret putting too much into them that you didn’t get back. One day you will realize they taught you the most important lesson in your life!

Regardless of whatever you do on earth, always remember that your emotional struggles have an expiration date, don’t give up on yourself and God because of a man or woman who couldn’t see your worth. That heartbreak is always an inevitable win for you on the long run.

Regardless of whatever you do on earth, always remember that every rubbish has an expiry date, don’t listen to every counsel and don’t allow their negative words to become your reality. Have a good heart and be true to it!

Regardless of whatever you do on earth, always remember that every job has an expiration date — know when your time is up in that mess. It was never your job to fix everything that is wrong with your partner. It should’ve been the two of you working on the relationship, not you doing it all alone.

Regardless of whatever you do on earth, always remember that apologies have an expiration date, know when you are emotionally being manipulated and choose your people carefully. You’re not a rug to be walked all over on.

Regardless of whatever you do on earth, always remember that loyalty has an expiration date, know your enemy and be careful who you open up to. The people closest to you are the ones who know how to make you feel worthless.

Until tomorrow, and regardless of whatever you are going through right now, reach out to those you know are hurting and lonely as hell. Irrespective of how love makes you feel, remember those going through a divorce. Reach out and tell them they are not forgotten. Reach out because everyone deserves to feel like they are loved. I just reached out to you through this letter.

Be encouraged!
Ali Papa.

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Life Is For The Living

Dear Someone,

Life might have done nothing more than let you down, you that was hoping that by now you would have been married and settled down. Life might have done nothing, but continue to be dull for you, you that is struggling to make ends meet.

Life might have done nothing, but make you feel like you are alone and worthless, you that is unappreciated and miserable in your relationship or marriage. Life might have done nothing, but treat you badly, you that was betrayed but the very person you trusted the most.

Life might have done nothing, but tear and keep you down, you that is battling with health challenges. Life might have done nothing, but disappoint you, you that was rejected, abandoned and left with many questions without answers.

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Life Is Not A Straight Line

Dear Someone,

I don’t know who this is for, but understand me well as I type these words.

Your current challenges are not there to kill you but to build you up. They are not there to stay but to pass. Your current challenges are not the most difficult thing you’ve ever had to face — acknowledge them but do not live in them. Your mistakes are your own mentorship, they are part of your story — they are not who you are.

Irrespective of the turns and detours in your relationship, stop wondering and asking if they ever really loved you. Irrespective of the detours that life has thrown at you, understand that where you are right now is where you’re supposed to be. Understand that “Sometimes, your ‘Plan B’ is really God’s ‘Plan A’. And your “detours” are all a part of His plan for your life.”- Dr Sorke.

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